Anorak News | Taking The Cake

Taking The Cake

by | 1st, July 2005

‘BOB Geldof and Tony Blair make for a high-profile couple but they’ll have to try harder if they’re to become the new Ben and Jen.


Not that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are an item any longer. J-Lo has married another and now we read that Affleck has followed suit.

The Sun reports that the actor – so wooden he’s surely destined for a glorious career in porn – has secretly married his actress love Jennifer Garner.

News to the uninvited masses is that Ben and Jen II married in a ceremony on the Turks and Caicos islands.

Marrying Jen was a good move for Ben. Firstly, the actress is carrying his child. But, more vitally, in tying the knot with a Jen, Ben would finally have been able to make us of the monogrammed napkins, personalised rainbows and “B&J” celebration crabsticks ordered for his cancelled wedding to Lopez.

With some red icing sugar and a few deft cuts, even the life-size figure of Lopez that is rumoured to stand atop the original cake could have been reused and remodelled on Garner.

Although our original wedding gift to the rounded Lopez of an Anorak Comfi-Skirt for the fuller-figured woman is of little use to the pregnant Garner, unless, of course, she wears it upside down…’

Posted: 1st, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink