Anorak News | Tony The Homey

Tony The Homey

by | 4th, July 2005

‘“WAVE your mother*******” hands in the air if Tony is your homey.”

Motherf*** the vote

The invitation may not have the slickness of an Alastair Campbell spin (on this), but US rapper Snoop Dogg could quickly cut to the heart of the matter if he were to enter British politics.

Some of us might be more inclined to vote if, due to its explicit wording, parental approval were needed to read the party manifesto. Better yet if it was printed on pre-gummed smoking paper and came with a free Uzi sub-machine gun.

But though he can get the weapons (although don’t bank on them working), Geoff Hoon, the former Defence Secretary and now Leader of the Commons, lacks the street cool.

If Hoon implored us to put our hands in the air and say “Yo!”, we’d shove them deep in our pockets and mumble something about him being a faceless corporate lackey in a bad suit.

But he does have some power. And today the Times says Hoon will say how the introduction of compulsory voting will breathe new life into the political process.

In a speech to the Institute for Public Policy Research, Hoon will tell the thinkers still nursing headaches from the political invective of Live 8, how compulsory voting is the way ahead.

Hoon is expected to say: “We are seeing not just twenty-something’s but people in their thirties and forties who have never voted and who actually seem proud to say so.”

Hoon is said to be embarrassed that while 61 per cent of the British electorate voted in the recent general election, 77 per cent of Afghanis voted in their country’s poll last year.

“Men and women queued in their thousands – risking their lives in defiance of terrorists – to cast a vote for their future,” says Hoon.

They are an example to us all.

And, who knows, in time to come, when this country is run by a self-serving elite with an overtly-religious figure at its head, Afghanis in touch with democracy may chose to save us.

Then we will all put our motherf****** hands in the air – and surrender…

Paul Sorene’

Posted: 4th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink