Anorak News | Playing The Fall

Playing The Fall

by | 8th, July 2005

‘IT’S interesting to imagine what story would have been the papers’ first had the dreadful events in London not occurred.

Bush could teach those anarchist clowns a thing or two

And the Sun’s report on the Big Brother shag would not have made it to the paper’s front page.

Because the first story to appear after the tales of bombs and devastated lives is that overweight cops in Romania are being taken off the beat and given desk jobs because they are damaging the force’s image.

OK, it would not have been front-page news, but the story does appear on the first page after the talk of the horror in London.

Working on the premise that what comes immediately after the bombs would have come first, we can believe the Mail would have splashed across its front page the news that the price of a dentist’s check-up is to rocket from £6 to £15.

Given the paper’s track record, it’s likely readers would have been invited to view the rise as a sure sign that the world has gone stark raving bonkers and political correctness has, as it ever has, gone mad.

And then wondered how a filling going up in price from £17.64 to £41 would impact on house prices and make Britain a soft target for bogus dentists from Albania.

And the Mirror would have run with the by now familiar news that Bush is no more adept at riding a bike than a fish is of running the most powerful nation on Earth.

George Bush may well walk in the manner of a man who’s just stepped off his horse, but it’s another kind of saddle that’s giving him jip.

Bush spent his 59th birthday riding a bike…into a policeman. This odd form of celebration left the policeman shaken and the leader of the free world with cuts on an arm and hand.

The Mirror has a shot of Bush’s injured fingers, all bandaged and scraped, and hears him say: “It goes to show I should act my age.”

But on a day like this, when humour is thin on the ground, we’re pretty glad he didn’t…

Paul Sorene’

Posted: 8th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink