Anorak News | Warren Muffs It

Warren Muffs It

by | 15th, July 2005

‘SHELLY’S descent into madness continues as she now decides that the answer to all her problems is plastic surgery. Unfortunately she’s not planning on having 13 stone of useless fat removed by leaving Charlie but is seriously considering bodily mutilation as an answer to her problems.

Shrinking Violet and growing Charlie

Even Charlie’s surprised by just how far she’s prepared to go to please him, although not as far as sleeping with him – which at least goes to show that she may be mentally ill but at least she’s not that mad.

In his frustration, Charlie turned to Jason’s girlfriend and Rovers’ barmaid Violet for some ‘understanding’. The pair ended up rolling around on the Rovers bonk-quettes in an after-hours drinking session. But just as Charlie was about to show her his pile driver, she came to her senses. “Yer just like that stupid slag upstairs,” growled Charlie as Violet made a hasty exit. After being rejected by two women in a week, there’s no telling what Charlie will do – try it on with Cilla possibly.

Danny Baldwin is another man playing with fire. Not content with being married to the sexiest woman in Weatherfield, he’s now having an affair with his son’s girlfriend, Leanne. While poor Frankie tries to comfort her step-son Jamie over the fact that his real mum is a hopeless alcoholic, Leanne and Danny are jumping into bed together at every chance they get: no wonder Danny works in women’s underwear.

Leanne’s mum Janice is getting suspicious, though: “Have you got another fella?” she leered at Leanne, with a mouthful of chips. Jamie has asked Leanne to move in with him but she turned him down, worried that it would mean she wouldn’t be able to carry on seeing his father. Some things are a little too close to home, even for our Leanne.

Jamie’s younger brother Warren is also having woman trouble. On hearing the news that Warren had been sacked by Weatherfield County, Candice decided to give him a red card too. “Yer doin’ nothing for my career, Warren – yer just dragging me down,” Candice told him in front of a packed Rovers. Candice is going to regret her actions though when Warren gets signed to a Spanish side. Admittedly, it’s a Third Division side who’s chairman only signed him because his middle-aged wife Julia has taken a shine to him, but that’s still a considerable step up from working in the back street hairdressers where Candice is languishing.

Elsewhere in the The Street, everyone’s favourite mental mummy, Tracy Barlow, is back – and determined to get revenge on Steve McDonald. She’s bullied Roy into agreeing to testify that he’s the father of Amy and is planning on taking a court order out against Steve to stop him from ‘harassing’ her.

“If I have to stand up in court an’ testify that I’m a slag who don’t know who the dad of my kid is, then I’ll do it,” she told a worried Steve – worried because he knows as well as anyone that there’s not a court in the land that would rule against the fact that Tracy’s a complete slapper…’

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink