Anorak News | Lay Jude

Lay Jude

by | 18th, July 2005

‘AFTER more than a week, finally there’s a split in the consensus as the papers begin to go their separate ways.

Sienna-ed off

The Mail says the Royal Institute of International Affairs has looked into why terrorists do what they do and written a report which leads the Mail to conclude: “IRAQ WAR MADE BRITAIN TERROR TARGET.”

The Institute, a group with a lower profile than a ping-pong ball, although the Mail sees it as Britain’s “most authoritative thinktank”, says invading Iraq upset Islamic fundamentalist and people who hate the West. Controversial just isn’t in it.

And who was behind the war on Iraq? No, not Saddam Hussein, who gassed his countrymen, invaded Kuwait, waged long and bloody war on Iran and wore white baggy Y–fronts (see Sun passim).

It was Tony Blair, a man who invaded Iraq but would no more be seen in Y-fronts than in the arms of this favourite pant-picker, Carole Caplin.

The report says that Tony was the “pillion passenger” of a policy driven by George Bush. And that made Britain a target for al-Qaeda.

It’s the kind of news the paper says will “haunt” Tony Blair – and manna from heaven to the Mail, which likes to see Tony Blair haunted.

But Tony shouldn’t worry too much because the Sun has a bigger story to tell.

In its front-page sensation, the paper hears from Daisy Wright, the woman with whom Jude Law is said to have cheated on his fiancée, Sienna Miller.

The ex-nanny for Law’s children says the actor made her “body tingle” during sex. He was a “masterful lover”.

He says: “There is no defence for my action.” (Neither Saddam, Tony or God made him do it.)

Now Jude wants to put things right and has taken Sienna away to be alone and sort things out.

And he’s upset that Daisy lost her job as a result of their affair – one of his children, allegedly, found them in bed together.

So to make amends, Daisy says Jude offered to recommend her to David and Victoria Beckham – although for what we are not told…’

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink