Anorak News | Kentucky Fried Pigeon

Kentucky Fried Pigeon

by | 18th, July 2005

‘“COO! What a scorcher,” says the pigeon sitting atop Nelson’s Column.

The pigeon doughnut

Indeed, it is hot. And from its vantage point high above Trafalgar Square, the flying rat is warmed by the sun above and from lunch within, as its daily diet of junk food is turned from the revolting mush that litters the pavement to a revolting mush that litters Nelson’s head.

According to Keep Britain Tidy’s Alan Woods, the group’s chief executive, seven out of ten bits of litter on the pavement are food related.

As the Mail says, it’s even worse in the summer when the weather encourages people to eat outside and the pigeon breeding season is at its peak.

Woods says the mess is unfair on councils and positively cruel to the pigeons, which are tempted to eat our droppings.

But it can’t be that bad. Fast food hasn’t done the average obese Briton any harm.

In fact, feeding pigeons junk food may complete the food cycle of the urban food chain.

If you were to trap an urban pigeon and slice it open, you’d discover – right before you’re shot by animal lovers – that it comes pre-stuffed with chips and curry sauce, its insides coated in a dusting of five secret herbs and spices.

It’s like a kebab with wings. And every bit as delicious…’

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink