Anorak News | Nigella Bites

Nigella Bites

by | 21st, July 2005

‘LIKE Kelly Brook with bigger hips and an apron, Nigella Lawson stares at the autocue.

Making a hash

Her dark eyes look into the TV camera, and without giving even the smallest hint of recognition that she is addressing an audience, that she is even aware of their existence, introduces the world to Krispy Kreme donuts and Stephen Fry.

Nigella the talk show, a mixture of TV, celebrity chatter and food, has been done before. Light Lunch, the lunchtime show presented by lightweight comics Mel and Sue, is a format that should not have been repeated.

Mel and Sure are comediennes (it says here), which at least enabled them to pass off their pisspoor performances as a routine. When they were crap, they were self-effacing; when they were even more crap, they were edgy and challenging; when they were crap with extra crap on the side they were daring and at the cutting edge of comedy.

Nigella is no comedienne. And certainly not two bad ones. Nigella, as the eponymous show’s website says, is so much more. “We’ll be talking everything from make-up and handbags to gadgets and gizmos,” says the blurb. “And I’ll be opening up Dr Lawson’s agony clinic to discuss real-life dilemmas, problems and difficult situations.”

All this and pudding! Scrummy. Although Nigella is in danger of becoming a victim of her own success. The show has lost 40% of its audience in the space of a week – four in ten have had their problems solved in just five days’ telly. At this rate, in little over a fortnight, only a few psychotic hard cases will be left watching.

Well done her. Although not too well done, because at the risk of being unhygienic Nigella was telling Ruby Wax that the best way to see how cooked a steak is it to put your finger on it.

Wax was enthralled. She likes meat – going so far as kissing the raw steak. Someone had done their research.

It seems that Nigella doesn’t invite celebs and cook random dishes for them but delivers to order.

This week, for instance, Nigella has lined up Ruby Wax, Neil Morrissey, Sally Lindsay, Tom Conti and Eamonn Holmes. To go with them, she making Cambodian Beef Salad, Pink Lemonade, Gingered and Minty Fruit Salad, Keema, Cola Cake, Beef Skewers with Horseradish Dip, Watermelon Daiquiris and Tiramisu.

Can you match the celeb with the dish? Take care not to get it wrong. Although if you do, don’t worry – if it turns into a complete hash, it’ll be in keeping with the rest of the show…’

Posted: 21st, July 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink