Eyes Down
‘SHELLYS back at The Rovers after her operation which, unfortunately for her and the long-suffering viewing public, didnt include brain surgery. Bev saw her daughter staggering back into the pub wearing dark glasses and as usual put two and two together and came up with five.
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| Shelly’s future is not so bright |
She marched into The Rovers and accused Charlie of beating up her daughter. Why would a woman be wearing dark glasses inside unless she has something to hide? Bev screamed at Charlie. Yer a monster! Shelly marched her mother upstairs and showed Bev the hospital bill for her eye lift. Oh Shell love, whispered Bev, whats he done to yer?
Bevs latest plan to get Shelly to leave Charlie involved her breaking into his office and stealing some of his customers details. She then proceeded to down a bottle of vodka before calling them up at random and telling them that Charlie was either cheating them out of money or sleeping with their wives. As cunnings plans go, its hardly up their with the Brinks Mat robbery. Especially as one of the customers she phoned went straight round to tell Charlie that some mad drunk woman, had called to say that Charlie had been sleeping with his wife. Which would ave taken a miracle as shes been dead seven years.
Shellys other champion, Ciaran, has washed his hands of her after yet another run in with Charlie. Come away with me now Shel or its goodbye forever, he pleaded with her. But of course the loon isnt going anywhere at least until producers have milked this tedious storyline for as long as they can.
As one relationship withers it looks like another might be starting. The only gay in Weathefield, Sean, might have finally found true love in the shape of vet Tim. Seans taken to acting like the Streets Doctor Doolitte, rounding up residents pets and volunteering to take them to the vets so that he can flirt with Tim.
The jurys still out on quite what Tim makes of Sean, although he has agreed to join him for a walk with Seans imaginary dog, Britney Marie. Although as we all know, its another sort of dogging entirely that our Seans interested in.
On the subject of dogs, it seems that everyones favourite idiot, Kirk, is about to become the owner of his own business when his and Marias parents announce that theyre moving to Cyprus and leaving their dog kennelling business to Kirk and Maria to run. Ive spent years tryin to better myself, sneered Maria, Im not about to go back to washing poodles for a living. Indeed, shes got enough on her plate trying to housetrain Tyrone.
The fur is really set to fly though when Maria and Kirks parents decided to leave the whole business just to Kirk, and Fizz moves in with him to help run the business.
Which is funny – its usually Kirk and Tyrone who are fighting over dogs.’
Posted: 25th, July 2005 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
