Anorak News | The Tan Ban

The Tan Ban

by | 3rd, August 2005

‘GIVEN the seriousness of the issue, it is no surprise to learn the great topless debate (see Tabloids) has attracted the attention of the EU top brass.

‘And you can stick it where the sun don’t shine’

The Telegraph reports that the killjoys in Brussels have issued something called an Optical Radiation Directive – or “tan ban” for short.

And this means that employers of staff who work outdoors must ensure that they cover up against the risk of sunburn.

For the Telegraph, this spells the end of the Bavarian barmaid, dressed in a cleavage-enhancing dirndl and handing out steins of beer to short fat men in funny trousers.

Munich mayor Christian Ude explains that the law means a waitress is no longer allowed to wander round a beer garden with a plunging neckline.

“I would not want to enter a beer garden under those conditions,” he says.

Nor indeed would we – but could the effects of this ban not be felt closer to home?

Today’s Sun Page 3 stunna, 23-year-old Nikkala from Middlesex, for instance, is pictured standing outside with only the skimpiest pair of briefs protecting her skin from the harmful rays of the paper’s namesake.

Over in the Star, dishy Dorset babe Natalie has the good sense to wear a hat – but there is little else in the way of clothing to ward off the UV.

And in the Mirror, Rachel Hunter shamelessly cavorts in the surf as part of a Sports Illustrated shoot with only a white bikini (and a roll or two of fat) as protection.

Three more flagrant examples of breaches of the EU Optical Radiation Directive you could not find – and not a copper around to enforce it.

Isn’t it about time our police stopped pussy-footying around and started cracking down on these lawbreakers?’

Posted: 3rd, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink