Anorak News | Bubbly & Speak

Bubbly & Speak

by | 8th, August 2005

‘AS euphemisms go, being called “bubbly” by OK! is like your lover turning to you, taking your chubby fingers in his hands and saying, “I love you because you’re so cuddly.”

Gail and her bubbles

No woman wants to be cuddly. And no celebrity wants to be a bubble, unless they’re Mr Blobby, Dawn French or the face and body of Matey bubble bath.

But here is Porter – the woman who fancied herself enough to have an image of her naked ass beamed onto the side of the Houses of Parliament – being bubbly. And what’s more, she’s being a “bubbly Scot”, as if being Scots is an essential part of her bubblyness.

But she was not always so bubbly, and is keen to tell us all that after the birth of daughter Honey, she suffered from postnatal depression.

At which point we’d like to defend OK!’s honour and remind readers that though the magazine promised this as an “EXCLUSIVE”, it never said it would include any fact we’d not heard a million times before. The story is exclusive in the same way the lungful of air you’ve just gulped down was exclusive to you.

But for fear of wandering off the real point – Gail’s bubbly ways – we return to the women and hear: “I was feeling purely like a wife and a mother and not myself in the slightest.”

Indeed, Gail is no much more than a wife and mother. For one thing, she’s a woman. For another, she’s had PND. And most tellingly, she’s bubbly…’

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink