Any Port In A Storm

‘HELLO! prides itself on having an inside track on the lives of the European elite.

The old sea dogger

It visits stylish eateries where a Princess has just picked at her lunch. It jumps up and down by impressively large walls, catching glimpses of castles and houses owned by Austrian aristos.

And this week it launhes its pedalo into the Mediterranean Sea and in trying to see what’s going on aboard Ernst van Driverstink’s gin palace nearly get mowed down by Steve McFadden on his motor cruiser.

Yes, that Steve McFadden, of the north London McFadden’s, the famous acting dynasty or EastEnders fame. But where can Steve be racing off to in such a hurry?

Ooer. You don’t suppose those scandalous allegations made by his former lover Angela Bostock of his dogging exercises in the car parks of England have led to him being chased out of the country?

But before Steve gets to wherever he’s going, and invites OK!’s scribe to join him for a cruise to a little dock he knows on the other side of the Balearics, he pauses to spare a few words.

“I am seeking legal advice and have nothing else to say at this time,” says he.

Whoah! Steady on Steve. This is the Balearic resort of Puerto Portals, not the Spanish mainland’s Costa del Crime. What you say will be taken down and used in evidence to simply prove that you are a really terrific guy.

Steve now relaxes. “My ideal day,” says Steve, “is waking up on a beautiful morning, sailing out on my boat, dropping the anchor near a beach and heading on to the land for lunch, a nice glass of wine and a siesta. Then, as the sun goes down, I return to port to spend the evening with friends.”

It does indeed sound a dreamy day, all the more so when you note that Steve is there. Parked up in his boat…’

Posted: 12th, August 2005 | In: Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink