Anorak News | A Virtuoso Performance

A Virtuoso Performance

by | 23rd, August 2005

‘WHY did the so-called Piano Man, who was picked up by police on the Isle of Sheppey on April 7, dressed in a soaking wet suit with all the labels removed, refuse to speak until now?

Gary Barlow

Did he know where the Blairs were holidaying, and in return for his silence was promised a hospital bed with three meals a day and access to the TV room?

Is it just coincidence that with Tony & Co. suddenly found alive and sunned in Barbados, the fey looking man who didn’t utter a sound for four months should choose to respond to a nurse asking him “Are you going to speak to us today?” with the answer, “Yes. I think I will”?

We might never know because the Times (“Piano Man: German, gay and gone home”) says that he has now checked out of hospital and flown home to Germany.

A worker at the Kent hospital where the Piano Man had remained mute until last Friday says staff thought he would be with them forever. “He had us all fooled,” says the source. “We found out he used to work with mentally ill patients and seems to have used their characteristics.”

And he had us fooled too, although his deception required a complicate press eager for an intriguing story.

The Times remembers how in May, Ramanah Venjiah, the manager of the unit where the Piano Man was staying, said: “He has been playing the piano for up to four hours at a time and staff say it is a real pleasure to hear it.”

Problem is that the Times, as with all the other papers that lavished space on this story, never bothered to hear the mystery man playing for themselves.

The aforesaid insider did, and tells the paper that “he didn’t play it very well…but just kept tapping one key continuously. He admitted that he couldn’t play the piano that well at all.”

The Telegraph is right in saying that such news will come as a disappointment for lovers of a good mystery. The man who “only came to life” when seated before a piano was such a seductive story.

But now he’s gone. And Tony’s been found. Which means the papers need to find a new mystery to titillate their readers with.

Perhaps it’s time to start looking for those weapons of mass destruction again..?’

Posted: 23rd, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink