Anorak News | Come On The ‘Pool

Come On The ‘Pool

by | 30th, August 2005

‘THE kind of people who call Andrew Flintoff “Freddie” and wear golf slacks and polo neck shirts as a matter of course will probably know all about the England cricketer.

‘I love it when you go all wrinkly in the water’

But the average Sun reader will find the paper’s “MEET THE FLINTOFFS” a vital insight into the mind of the England hero.

For starters, he’s married to Rachel, who is now “speaking for the first time since England’s heart-stopping Fourth Test victory over the Aussies”.

The game did reach an exciting climax, and we understand that Rachel could have been struck dumb by the efforts of team England to shape defeat from what looked like an easy victory.

But now Rachel’s regained her senses, she tells us how she’s not allowed to mention cricket at home. Nor is she allowed to call her husband Freddie. But he’s no dictator, and “chilled out” Andy loves being with their young daughter Holly, even changing her nappies and pushing her pram.

And, well, that’s it. We don’t hear where Rachel likes to shop, how her dreams are for a brighter world and bigger breasts or a word on her new pop single.

It’s clear that if cricket is ever to be as big as football, Rachel will have to go the extra mile and host all future interviews dressed in a bikini, sitting by a swimming pool, telling the world about her fairy tale wedding and the miracle birth of her daughter.

If Rachel does follow the route of so many footballers’ wives, she might first like to check the pool for signs of Wayne Rooney and his chav-tastic lover, Coleen McLoughlin.

The Star (“COLEEN AGONY OVER STOLEN NUDE PICS”) says that pictures of Wayne and Coleen skinny-dipping in a pool have gone missing.

The haul is made up of over 300 “hot snaps”, including 180 that feature Coleen in “her own private modelling poses”. She’s “terrified” they will end up on the internet or in newspapers, says the paper.

Also among the snaps, which went missing when secretive Coleen took her camera film to a high-street developer for processing, are pictures taken at footballer Michel Owen’s wedding.

These are said to include shots of two England footballers leaping naked into a pool and photographs of stars “looking the worse for wear”.

If you know where the photos are, the Star would like you to get in touch with its newsdesk. And you can call “in confidence”.

And you can also call in if you’ve a story on any one of England’s cricket team. You know the kind of thing the papers are interested in – which players like to wear their wives’ knickers, if they’ve ever cheated on their partners, what’s the record for starting fights on a night out.

Anything that can help cricket become every bit as popular as football…’

Posted: 30th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink