Oh Goody

‘FROM “East Angular” [sic] to “Portugal in Spain”, Big Brother loser Jade Goody has become a household name.

The cheddar gorge

Now, as the Star reports, the woman who got her kebabs out on the telly and asked a Brummie ‘Have they not got seasides in Birmingham?’ is to address the Oxford Union.

Goody, a millionaire from her reality TV experiences, will be questioned by “brainy bods” on what it’s like being a celebrity and eking out an existence without the perquisite fifteen GCSEs and seven A levels.

So much for the questions, but what of Jade’s telling answers?

As a taster of what the scholars can expect, the Sun calls Jade’s phone number and is greeted by her answer-phone message.

Says Jade: “For all you cheddars out there who’ve been ringing me non-stop then hanging up let me tell you this: I will punch any w***ers”.

Good stuff. And the free use of the w-word will excite the keen minds at Oxford. But why the rant?

The answer, it seems, is that Jade has called on her fans to apply for parts in a new reality TV show on her life. The wannabes call an advertised number and leave the details of how Jade can best contact them at the secure unit they call home. Only, it seems some who call are daunted by the challenge of speaking on a phone and hang up.

But one applicant who wanted to be on the show is upset. “Who the hell is Jade?” she asks. “A no-mark girl who went on a show and stripped off.”

Indeed. But she’s that and more. Jade is a pair of kebabs. She’s a big cheese. She’s a girl who knows what side her pitta is buttered on…’

Posted: 30th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink