Anorak News | By Appointment

By Appointment

by | 6th, September 2005

‘IN need of modernisation and constructed on rocky foundations, Princess Michael of Kent is in need of some cosmetic improvement.

‘And if you buy the house by Friday, I’ll throw in the sauerkraut’

Having been duped by the News of the World’s “fake sheikh” (see Sheikh, Prattle & Troll), the Mail says Princess pushy has now gone “too far”.

The paper has heard that Prince Charles is furious with the Princess. Not because the princess referred to his late wife, Diana, as a “womb”. Nor for her forecast that Camilla will one day be Queen. Charles is peeved because she has dared to cast aspersions on his jam.

Mail readers already clucking their marmalade-covered tongues in disapproval at the paper’s “Going for broke?” feature on “Pushy”, now learn that she has made a dig at Charles’s Duchy original food range.

In the course of her efforts to woo the would-be buyer of her country pile, the Princess produced a jar of her own homemade preserve.

“That’s made with my own raspberries,” said she.” It’s better than the stuff Charles churns out. “He doesn’t make it himself – he’s got factories doing it. It’s just his name on it.”

Oh, too cruel is the woman who shatters our image of Charles in hair net and frilly apron spooning jam into jars. No wonder Charles is said by a source to be “pretty irritated”.

“He cannot believe that someone like her has the gall to belittle him to a member of the public in this way – just in order to sell a house,” says the unnamed insider.

Indeed. But what of the jam? Does she have a point? Is hers better than Charles’s? Anyone who wants to find out should strap on a sheet and take a helicopter to the Princess’s drum in Nether Lypiatt, Gloucestershire.

There the Princess may well present you with a jar of her finest. But take care while eating it – it’s almost impossible to get out of the linen. Almost as hard as it for the Princess to get out of her house…’

Posted: 6th, September 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink