Anorak News | Teenage Kicks

Teenage Kicks

by | 9th, September 2005

‘IT’S not Sven’s fault. The bigger boys made him do it. It’s sooo unfair.

‘I never asked to be born’

If the Mail is right in its psychological profiling of the England manager (“TREACHEROUS, PRMOISCUOUS, GREEDY…AND (WORST OF ALL) A LOSER”), Sven is a teenager trapped inside a man’s body.

And, as the paper says in “It’s not my fault”, “during the ‘terrible teens’, most children act as if the world is against them”. Even if, as in Sven’s case, large swathes of it are.

And what of Sven’s customary blank, unemotional, unresponsive stare, what seems to be an inability to look cowed by the taunts and the calls for his head to be placed on an upturned goalpost and paraded round the pitch for our viewing pleasure?

Others would look fearful or downcast, but not Sven, who maintains an even keel in the face of so much vitriol.

The Mail says this is typical of teenagers who find it hard to understand the vocal tones and facial expressions of people around them.

We know this because Professor David Skuse, at the Institute of Child Health in London, has examined how well teenagers respond to faces.

Teens were shown pictures of sad, disgusted, angry, scared and surprised faces (the full gamut of the football fan’s emotional range), and invited to pick out which was which. And the result showed that the teens had trouble picking out the angry and sad expressions.

Snarling at Sven and glowing red with vein-popping rage may make you feel better about life, but will get you nowhere. The suggestion is that he doesn’t understand. Such is the way of the teenage brain, he might even think you are smiling at him.

And if you don’t believe us, asks his friend, the polite, smiley, happy-go-lucky, well-mannered, charming teenager Wayne Rooney…’

Posted: 9th, September 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink