Anorak News | The Princess & The Pea

The Princess & The Pea

by | 15th, September 2005

‘WITH everyone in their places, it was time to exchange vows.

‘Can you taste blancmange’

This being the spiritual part of the ceremony, we ask that you keep your clothes on throughout, refrain from poking out your tongues (you know who you are, Miss Katona) and resist all urges to laugh (that goes for the rest of you).

“The room was hushed” as the registrar and her legal witness explained that this was for real and would not only last until next week’s issue of OK! hits the newsstands.

The crowd were asked it they knew of any legal impediment as to why the pair could not be married. No-one spoke. Then Princess Jordan’s brother read a poem.

It was then time for the vows.

Do you Jordan promise to take Peter gently, to not tease him about his height and to keep him in platform shoes and tanning cream?

And do you Peter take Jordan to have and to hold as close as you can without suffocating for as long as your contract stipulates?

Not really. We’re only messing around. In reality, Princess Jordan promised to “respect, love and be absolutely faithful always”, and Prince Pete said something that OK! didn’t quite catch or did not consider worth repeating.

Then Prince Pete’s bother Daniel read The Wedding Song, the humungous rings were lowered by winch and crane onto bending fingers and “the couple kissed for England”.

And England did rejoice…’

Posted: 15th, September 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink