The Wedding Belles

‘WITH no trace of string from a celebratory crabstick or a shard of pineapple chunk stuck amid her brilliant white teeth, the Mail spots a beaming Demi Moore.

‘Will you still love me when I’m old and wrinkly?’

And Demi’s every right to be happy – she’s has just tied the knot to her young lover, Ashton Kutcher.

But what of the do? The Mail looks around, and among the guests at the wedding, staged at the home the couple share in Beverly Hills, were the first Mr Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, the couple’s three daughters and 100 gests.

But that’s all we get to know. There is just time for the Mail to conduct a quick head count and to warn the happy throng of the impending arrival of Kate Moss before it’s off to Bideford for Savannah Miller’s nuptials.

This Miller is none other than older sister to Sienna Miller. And there was the actress enjoying the day, in bare-feet.

The groom, pictured in “flower-power headband”, was a certain Nic Skinner, snootily described in the Mail as a “trendy carpenter”.

But who was the man who rowed across a nearby lake and, naked from the waist down, ran among the well-wishers playing a flute?

The Mail doesn’t even speculate, but perhaps it was Jude Law, who was otherwise notable by his absence from the scene.

But we can’t be sure. Not until we see that flute…’

Posted: 26th, September 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink