Anorak News | Gathering Moss.

Gathering Moss.

by | 6th, October 2005

‘WITH Kate Moss in an American clinic and Sadie Frost at a meeting for Alcoholics Anonymous, the fabled Primrose Hill clique of rich British celebrities is looking a bit thin on members.

But Moss is not yet yesterday’s news. And there she is as usual on the front page of the Sun, a picture of her even features and clear complexion appearing beside the headline: “KATE TO BE ARRESTED.”

The Sun says that as soon as Moss touches a perfect toe back on British soil, police will swoop and arrest her on suspicion of supplying cocaine. She will be taken to a police station and formerly arrested.

It’s an order that’s come from the “highest ranks” at Scotland Yard. As a “source” explains: “This is being dealt with very seriously due to her position in public life. We don’t want her use of this deadly drug to glamorise it.”

Quite so. And we congratulate the police for taking as much interests in the affairs of an A-list model as they would should your home be burgled or a black teenager murdered on a South London street.

But while this is justice, we take no pleasure in the fall of Moss. Just as we read with a heavy heart the news that Moss’s mucker, the aforesaid Frost, has been going to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Why she’s doing this would seem obvious, but an insider is keen to tell us it’s not what you think. “She hasn’t got a serious drink problem,” says this source. Oh? “But after what she’s seen her best friend go through in recent weeks she thought it would be a good idea to try and gain an understanding of what happens when you drink to excess.”

Someone should tell Frost it’s cocaine not drink that’s causing Moss grief. And that if she’s interested in investigating the harmful effects of too much booze, she could drink to excess in the privacy of her own home. Or visit any town centre at pub closing time on a Saturday night and take notes and, perhaps, a video.

But with Moss out of the picture, and Frost in AA for research purposes, we cast around to see who if anyone can form part of the depleted set, the keep the Moss Posse at large.

And over in the Mirror we have our first wannabe member. He’s Australian rocker Daniel Johns, and he’s just been chucked out of London’s Boujis nightclub for “excitedly jumping around on the dance floor”.

In his defence we must state that behaving in such a fashion may well constitute dancing where Johns hails from. But this was London, and rightly he had to go.

As so did his wife, the young Carol Vorderman look-alike, singer Natalie Imbruglia. She’d been quaffing champagne with her man and some pals and, like Johns, was dancing like a mal-coordinated Masai tribesman.

That put a dampner of their evening. But they must not fret – such excess surely marks them out as potential new recruits to the Moss Posse.

Now, if they can just both sleep with Moss…’

Posted: 6th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink