Anorak News | Mission Accomplished

Mission Accomplished

by | 6th, October 2005

‘YOU can tell a lot about the way a man makes love by the way he dances.

And when we saw Tom Cruise bounce around on the Oprah Winfrey show as he enthused wildly about his young lover, the actress Katie Holmes, we knew that very soon she’d be pregnant or in intensive care.

Happily, we learn on the Mail’s front page that Holmes is as alive and kicking as the embryo growing within her womb.

“Cruise the daddy,” puns the Sun, as it confirms the news that Holmes, 26, is carrying 43-year-old Cruise’s child.

Tom is said to be “so excited”. Katie says she “never felt better”. And Tom’s spokesman Lee Anne Devette, who’s also his sister, says how the “whole family is really excited”.

“But I can’t say when the baby is due or if it’s a boy or a girl,” says she.

Which leaves us all to guess. And for the Mail to remember the moment when just eight weeks after meeting Holmes in April, Cruise took a new cheese to France and proposed to his young lover atop the Eiffel Tower.

The Sun gets out its abacus and star charts and calculates by some means or another that Holmes is now thought to be three months pregnant.

Which suggest to us that Holmes should give birth sometime around the first of April next year. Which, contrary to popular myth, if not also the excitable Cruise’s birthday…’

Posted: 6th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink