Anorak News | Paper Makeweights

Paper Makeweights

by | 11th, October 2005

‘WITH last week’s Mail on Sunday, in among the news and new and tales of shockingly imaginative ways to contract cancer, was a free DVD.

Buy one get one free

Not only do Mail readers know what a DVD is but, if the paper’s marketing types have got it right, they own tellies which can play widescreen films.

They also have a hankering to watch the movie Silkwood, a film with a tagline longer than the plot for Deuce Bigalow parts I and II: “On November 13, 1974, Karen Silkwood, an employee of a nuclear facility, left to meet with a reporter from the New York Times. She never got there.”

Mail on Sunday readers know what happens in the film, and thanks to the paper’s largesse, they now own a copy of the flick to lend to their friends, who were off in their timeshare apartments in Spain and Portugal when the film was given away.

And the DVD collection keeps on growing. The Sun is giving its readers the chance to own something they’ll like so much they’ll want to collect the token and pop along to Woolies for a FREE Morecambe and Wise DVD.

Of course, you’ve already seen everything the pair ever did. And though the DVD promises no director’s cut, no German translation and no chance to see Eric agonising over how many times he should waggle his glasses without overdoing the joke, it is yours to keep.

And there’s more. Why stop at Morecambe and Wise when you can have the rest of the “Comedy Greats” collection: The Two Ronnies, Spike Milligan, Tommy Cooper and Frankie Howerd?

All old. And, aside from Ronnie Corbett, the shorter half of the two Ronnies, all gone to join Bernie Winters in that great hall of popular light entertainment in the sky.

But why would you want them? The free DVD has replaced the bingo card, the prize drawer, the chance to win loadsa money. It’s replaced the price-slashing. It’s replaced the papers’ claims to have the best stories and the most insightful critics.

The new inducement to keep you buying a paper is to give you something for free.

Something you could download over the Internet for free – along with your daily news…’

Posted: 11th, October 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink