Man Overboard
‘THEYRE back! Katie Price, her sun-kissed Jordans and pop acorn Peter Andre are returned from their honeymoon in the Maldives.
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Katie and her lifesavers |
Three weeks ago we looked on with wide-eyed wonder as Katie and Pete lived out a fairy-tale wedding with pumpkins and ugly sisters everywhere.
Now the day is over, its time for the newlyweds to…escape from the camera on a tropical honeymoon, coos OK! wrongly. Yes, wrongly. Because there was a camera in the Maldives and Katie and Pete made sure they got right in front of it.
And there was a chance that the shot of them walking barefoot in the surf might have been the last we saw of them. While Katie was having an amazing time, Pete was in the fight of his life. He now tells us of his close buff and airbrush with death.
Out night-fishing one, er, night, Pete managed to hook a really big fish. With Katies bikini top made ready to land the massive brute, the line got caught around Petes fingers.
I was calling out, saying: Guys, help! because it was pulling me to the side of the boat, and I was fighting to stay aboard, say Pete.
Crikey! I felt like either my fingers were going to come off, or I was going over the edge. Oh my! The fingers! The rings!! The thought of Pete being munched like an acorn-sized niblet by a rapacious guppy!!!
What happened? Luckily the guy who took us out ran over and cut the line while the other guys on the boat held on to me.
Phew! But what else had a hold of you, Pete? What was this monster of the deep? A great white shark? A sperm whale? A deranged fan in a Scuba outfit? No. It was a giant stingray. And had it swam off with Pete, it would have dragged him straight down to the bottom of the sea.
That was three days ago and I still cant feel my fingers, says the Australian.
But while we fear for Pete,. We are distracted by more trouble. Get a load of little Harveys foot! Its bleeding.
Jordan had taken her son Harvey for a paddle in the stingray-infested waters and when they came out he was crying and making a fuss.
Mum noticed her sons foot was bleeding. She called out the doctor. He said that he probably stood on a rock fish or sea urchin, says Katie. And they, as she goes on to tell us, can be really dangerous.
Clearly so. And anyone considering a trip to the Maldives should take care when venturing into the sea. And take just as much care when outside in the air – poor Katie went as pink as her wedding dress in the searing heat.
What with giant fish that catch you, the spiky sea creatures and the merciless sun, the Maldives sound less than the ideal honeymoon destination.
But things did settle down. Harveys just fine. Katie is returned to her usual orange. And Pete has surely come to realise that losing the feeling in his fingers might have more to do with the moon-sized chunk of metal that stands in for a wedding band than any fish.
But the honeymoon does sound stressful. And now theyre back home, Katie and Pete are in search of some comfort. And that means some comfort eating.
So has anyone seen their wedding cake? Katie hasnt. She says its gone missing. We never had a piece all night, says she. So she phoned the wedding planner to find out where it was. And he told her it had been thrown away.
We wanted to freeze the top layer and have it for Juniors first birthday, says Pete.
And use the rest for fishing bait…’
Posted: 14th, October 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
