Anorak News | Gruesome Toothsome

Gruesome Toothsome

by | 19th, October 2005

‘“HOW POSH finally got it right,” trills the Express, the words hanging above a double-page spread of Her Poshness wearing all manner of clothes.

The uncomfortable tooth

Looking at the shots, we can only concur with the paper – Posh has got it right. The shoes are on her feet and not on her head. Her dress is not upside down or back to front. And she’s remembered to put on her underwear BEFORE her outer garments and not after.

Bravo to her. But aside from her fashion nouse, the other thing we cannot but help noticing is that in many of the pictures Posh has done away with her trademark pug-grimace. Her mouth is shut tight. You cannot see her teeth.

While this clearly represents a daring new direction for her celebrity, the closed-mouth look may have been forced upon her.

The Sun says that Posh’s teeth cost her £25,000; La Posh paid £2,500 per tooth to have her ten most visible teeth whitened.

That’s fine. But it fails to explain why she’s not showing them off all the time. Indeed, rather than solving the mystery, it only serves to deepen it further.

But the Sun thinks it has found a clue. It speaks with Posh’s dentist, Dr Jeremy Hills, and asks him what he thinks. Though he refuses to comment on his client, he does say: “I recommend a maximum of one [whitening] treatment a year.”

But the Sun understands that Posh has had three extra whitening treatments over that period, something that could, as the paper speculates, put her at risk of losing them all.

That would be too terrible. And we urge Posh to keep her mouth closed and her teeth locked in behind her lips.

She should on no account open her mouth to smile, and certainly not to sing…’

Posted: 19th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink