Anorak News | Suffer The Children

Suffer The Children

by | 3rd, November 2005

‘IS it Christmas or Xmas? It’s the big question.

A pet need not be just for your Christmas

Christmas links the festival with Jesus Christ. Xmas makes the festive season sound what marketing types would call edgy, funky and above all sexy.

In short, is Christmas about religion? Or is it about shopping, binge drinking and photocopying your backside at the office Christmas do?

The Express is of the opinion that it’s Christmas, a time of religious fervour and praise be to God. But no one religion is everyone’s religion, so it’s been “BANNED”.

As the paper’s front page says: “BANNED – CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR CHILDREN.” There then follows the tagline: “We mustn’t upset non-Christians.”

News is that staff at the Inland Revenue, that veritable haven of largess and goodwill to all men, have been told they cannot take part in Operation Christmas Child.

The Express says that every year thousands of people across the country “fill shoe boxes with gifts for the poor and homeless aboard”. The booty is then despatched to a million youngsters across Eastern and central Europe.

That’s nice. But while children in Blighty wonder what toy worth its batteries can be fitted inside a shoe box other than shoes, a dead mouse and an old tennis ball – a PlayStation and a crate of alcopos are just too big – the Express is outraged.

This year the needy will not be getting anything from those nice people at the Revenue; and it’s because the programme offends the Government’s “diversity” policy.

And this, as the paper tells its god-fearing readers, comes on top of the news that Lambeth Council has ordered that seasonal decorations be known as “winter” or “celebrity” lights as the word “Christmas” is not inclusive and upsets other faiths.

Although, later the Express says that this directive has been rescinded after Express readers “flooded our hotline in outrage”. As we’re told: “Ninety-eight per cent of readers who phoned demanded that Christmas traditions must be preserved.”

Perhaps Express readers who take part in the paper’s daily phone vote – a thing more loaded than a gang of hens in Faliraki – can put an end to the “Scrooge taxman”?

The Mail hopes so. On a bauble, it’s written “CHRISTMAS KILLJOYS”. And to really drum the message home it’s equipped its piece (“Revenue bosses ban send-a-toy charity over Christmas links”) with a shot of a child in Azerbaijan holding a wrapped up shoe box.

We don’t get to see the look of delight when this little lad opens his gift and discovers it contains a self assessment form and a sticker saying “Blessed are the tax collectors for they are good”.

We are only told that this is a gift. And at Christmas time, a gift is what it’s all about…’

Posted: 3rd, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink