Anorak News | Tufty’s Tale

Tufty’s Tale

by | 9th, November 2005

‘IF it’s not those over-paid, over-sexed and over here American GIs taking our women, it’s the American squirrel taking the nuts from our furry red pals.

Not in my name

The Express reports that we are involved in the “£1m race to save Tufty”.

Tufty is the native British red squirrel. And if you’ve not seen what he looks like, the Express has a picture of him sat on a tree eating a nut. Isn’t he cute. He’s far more attractive, demure and noble than that bolder, more active and brash grey American creature.

And now read how the North of England Red Squirrel Conservation Strategy plans to help the insurgent red squirrel fight back at the grey invader.

Swathes of countryside in the north of England, some of the last bastions of the reds, are to be populated with trees the greys don’t like.

As is the American custom, greys like huge portions, feasting on oversized acorns and beech nuts, the forest equivalents of the jumbo, deep-pan, thick-crust pizza and the Big Mac.

The British reds, who know a thing or two about rationing, are able to live off smaller seeds. The plan is that greys in the area will leave in search of places more to their liking, leaving the reds behind to thrive and live unmolested.

It’s a beautifully simple idea. And one that might have implications for the human world at large.

What works for squirrels may work for man, and those seeking to rid their lands of Americans might like to put down their arms and pick up their salad bowls.

Ban the over-sized portion, whether it be acorn or burger, and the American is sure to go…’

Posted: 9th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink