Anorak News | Fashion Policed

Fashion Policed

by | 11th, November 2005

‘IF Kate Moss has taught us anything it is that fashion is of vital importance. Get the clothes right and the rest of your life falls into place without a hitch, a crease or a snag.

The Anorak Comfi-Slax makes the ideal Christmas gift for any offender, young or old

And it’s a message appreciated by our judiciary. As the Sun explains in headline form: “LET OFF TAG..BECAUSE IT DOESN’T GO WITH SKIRT.”

The Mail adds a few accessories to the basic story, and tells its readers about Natasha Hughes, an 18-year-old up before the Beak in Worcester.

Appearing in court, Hughes admitted breaching the terms of her bail curfew. Hughes was on bail having been accused of causing grievous bodily harm to another woman.

Hughes was in trouble. It looked bad. But she didn’t want it to look any worse and asked the magistrate to consider her outfit. You see, Hughes likes wearing skirts. And a tag would mean her needing to wear trousers or a shell suit to cover it up. And that would be too awful for words.

“I didn’t want to wear a tag because they are really bulky and embarrassing,” says Hughes in the Mail. “I like to wear skirts, which means people see it and it looks stupid.”

Can’t argue with that. And the presiding magistrate didn’t. Natasha could walk free, untainted by the Government’s last word in ankle bracelets.

To Paul Tonks, chairman of the West Midlands Police Federation, such an act “makes a mockery of the system”. Hughes’s MP, Michael Foster, says it’s “ridiculous”.

And we could not agree more. Which out-of-touch fashion-unconscious nerd thought any girl worth her Asbo would want to wear a large, bulky, black, electronic bracelet on her ankle? It needs proper consultation with the appropriate authorities.

The trick is to make tags a must-have item. The trick is to get Kate Moss to wear one. If she does, everyone will want one. And how cool will that be..?’

Posted: 11th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink