Caught In The Web

‘WITH Kate Moss getting clean in the States, Omar Bakri stuck in Lebanon and Tony Blair on his way out, the papers look down their wanted list for the next target for removal.

The Sun spots Big Brother’s Makosi Musambasi. Some of you might remember Makosi for her desperate-to-be-noticed naked flashes and romps on TV’s Big Brother, and for her tendency to refer to herself in the third person.

Now the Sun says that rather than being evicted to her native Zimbabwe, the strumpet has been granted refugee status and can remain in Britain.

The one proviso is that she can only work here if she keeps her job as a nurse. So there’ll be no Makosi the TV presenter, Makosi the Page 3 Girl or Makosi the professional celebrity, unless she can fit showbiz around her nursing.

But while Makosi the healer becomes a real-life version of Barbara Windsor in Carry On Nursing, the Mail moves on. It’s seen the new Crimestoppers website.

Modelled on the American FBI’s internet site of most dangerous criminals at large, the Crimestoppers version features the UK’s most wanted.

“Have you seen any of the villains on Britain’s first FBI-style website?” asks the Mail. Readers are duly presented with mugshots of 12 felons, the so-called “Dirty Dozen”.

A quick once over reveals – surprisingly for the Mail – no picture of George Galloway, Cherie Blair or any Frenchman who works at the EU.

Instead we get Ayub Khan, wanted in connection with the murder of two hotel owners; Yousef Ahmed Wahid, wanted in connection with the murder of Miss Fatima Kama whose body was found inside a suitcase in the car park at Terminal 3 at Heathrow Airport in July 1999; and convicted murderer and armed robber James Francis Hurley, who escaped while being transferred between prisons on 16 February 1994.

As Dave Cording, director of Operations for Crimestoppers, explains in the Sun: “We are not going after people who have not paid their parking tickets. We are going for those wanted for the more serious offences.”

And the system works. Since the creation of America’s Most Wanted List in 1950, 147 villains have been caught.

But this is not America (we’ve checked). And to help you at home brush up your sleuthing skills, the Crimestoppers Most Wanted website invites you to “do your duty and test your detective skills by solving the clues in Crimestoppers’ Most Wanted Quiz”.

And there’s a reward: “The winner will need to polish up their magnifying glass and pack their latex gloves as they’ll receive a £205 gift voucher for a murder-mystery weekend for two, where they can play detective for real.”

So let‘s get on with the quiz. Question 1: If you do the police’s work for them, should you be paid?

Question 2: Are you one of the most wanted?’

Posted: 18th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink