Anorak News | One Wise Man

One Wise Man

by | 21st, November 2005

‘THE wise man will not blow all his cash before Christmas on binge drinking. He’ll hop over on his camel to Calais and load up on cheap hooch for the festive season.

Stars of wonder

Myrrh, frankincense and gold are also cheaper on the continent. And you’d be wise to stock up.

And you can save money in other ways, too. The Express produces the “Cheats guide to Christmas”. This double-page spread includes ways to make the festive season a cheap and cheerful hit.

Buy the best ready-made sauces you can afford, says the paper. “Then decant them into dishes, hiding the jars at the back of the cupboard.”

“Sieve icing sugar over bought mince pies or Yule logs to cover your embarrassment.”

“When space is tight, put dinner plates in the dishwasher on the quick wash cycle, and they will be hot when you are ready to serve.”

But it’s with the decorations the Express comes into its own. “Go minimalist,” it says. “Buy thee or four little conifers on pots and set them on a window sill.”

Great advice. But it’s come too late for some. “Workshy” dad-of-ten Mark Corby has already done his Christmas shopping. As the Sun says, Mark has just splashed out £20,000 on Christmas lights to decorate the outside of his four-bedroom semi in Exeter, Devon.

But Corby is no fool. The wise man – who has not been in gainful employment for three years – is a “scrounger” who has worked out a way to let you pay for his extravagances.

For your tax pound, the Sun says that Corby’s display features an illuminated Santa and train on the roof, two 4ft Santas with sleighs, a Santa climbing a ladder, a 4ft Santa with a reindeer, a 3ft snowman, two 4ft shining starts, four trees filled with fairy lights, lights all over the roof and fake frost on the eaves and windows.

And then there’s the electricity bill for powering the whole thing for seven hours a day for seven weeks.

Taking time out from gazing upon his winter wonderland like some denim-clad King Wenceslas, Corby explains.

“A few years go it was very tough to get by on state benefits,” says he. “But it’s much easier these days because of all the tax credits.” As Corby says: “Poverty is all relative.”

Although not among his family…’

Posted: 21st, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink