Anorak News | Getting The Needle

Getting The Needle

by | 29th, November 2005

‘DROP your underwear and bend over. This should hurt us far more than it hurts you.

Culling the fat

Such is the gigantic size of your backside we will need all our medical expertise and no little brute force to get the magic needle to work.

The Independent has heard from Victoria Chan, of the Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Dublin, Ireland, who has studied the effects of injecting medicines into the modern posterior.

Says Chan: “Our study has demonstrated that a majority of people, especially women, are not getting the proper dosage from injections to the buttocks. There is no question that obesity is the underlying cause.’

Chan and her team of bottom inspectors note that bottoms are covered with so much fat that the standard needles cannot get to the target.

The remedy seems simple enough: use longer needles. Or inject the patient somewhere not so fatty. But where? As the Telegraph reports, finding a spot on today’s Briton that’s not covered in rolls of lard is proving hard.

Dr David Haslam, clinical director of the National Obesity Forum, says we are all of us getting fatter.

“If you dropped a 6ft 2in man down in Victorian England, he would stand out like a sore thumb, but he doesn’t today because we are all taller. It is the same thing with overweight children,” says Haslam in the Telegraph.

The thinking is that plump children no longer stand out because they are in a fatter family unit. Mum and dad are fat, so why not junior?

And, of course, this is all too, too terrible.

Prof Georgina Mieli-Vergani, a consultant paediatric hepatologist at King’s College Hospital, London, says she’s seen an obese 15-year-old boy who was suffering from cirrhosis.

She then says that there has been a big rise in the number of cases of non-alcoholic steato-hepatitis (NASH), which precedes the onset of cirrhosis.

‘Ten years ago, I might see one child every two years with NASH, but now it is anywhere from six to 10,’ she says.

Prof Roger Williams, the doctor who treated George Best, the celebrity face of the diseased liver, says he found the increased incidence of cases ‘frightening’.

There is a steep upward trend. In percentage terms, NASH is on the march. But are six patients in two years a lot? Six doesn’t sound like a very big number.

And we cannot help but wonder if this is all part of a plan. If overweight people no longer worry about looking fat, let’s attack them in some other way.

Let’s get the fat kid. Refuse him treatment on the NHS. Go for his weak spot. Go for the liver…’

Posted: 29th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink