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How To Die In The Mail

by | 3rd, December 2005

‘WARNING: READING THE DAILY MAIL MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH.

Monday

“Heavy smokers could be denied NHS treatment”

“50 babies a year are alive after abortion” – So says a report by the Confidential Enquiry into Child Health.

Tuesday

“The cannabis dependency service (how an expert in schizophrenia describes his job)” –

Professor Peter Jones, of Cambridge’s Cameo Centre of newly-diagnosed mental illnesses, says 80 per cent of those suffering from first episode psychiatric disorders are either heavy users or dependent on cannabis

“One in 10 toddlers ‘plagued by psychiatric problems’” – Researcher Dr Adrian Angold finds the results of his study into the mental wellbeing of 300 children aged between two and five “scary”.

“The Mail went undercover in a pub to discover the truth about Britain;’ new drink laws. We found a cynical drive for bar profits – and to hell with the consequences” – Reporter Andre Thompson “uncovers the cynical role the drinks industry plays in the modern plague of binge drinking”

“Tears of father whose wife died six days after she gave birth” – Inquest hears how Jessica Palmer developed blood poisoning from an infection which was not spotted by her carers

Wednesday

“Smaller children ‘have lower intelligence’” – Researchers from Bristol University find that children with lower levels of the IGF-1 growth hormone are less intelligent than taller classmates

“Drug claimants ‘denied justice’” – Hundreds of Britons who claim the drug Vioxx brought on strokes and heart attacks are refused legal aid

Ministers’ smoking ban ‘will cost 200 lives’” – Department of health research says failure to introduce a total ban on smoking in pubs means 200 smoking-related deaths a year

Thursday

“Disphosphorate and fries” – Revealed, the chemical cocktail of ingredients the fast food firms don’t declare on their menus”

“THE 007 SYNDROME – They’re ashamed of monogamy – and think it’s normal to want sex with every woman they meet. Why controversial sex expert Shere Hite thinks men’s lives are being ruined by a ‘James Bond’ attitude to love…”

Friday

“As the Gulf Stream that warms our shores falters…IS BRITAIN ON THE BRINK OF A NEW ICE AGE” – the British go the same way as the woolly mammoth

“NHS faces huge cuts to pay for £620m loss” – “patients face huge cutbacks to health service after the Government revealed the NHS could plunge into the red this year”

“Death-crash risk doubles for drivers on cannabis”

“The dieters destined for failure” – a person’s hormones dictates whether they will diet successfully or not’



Posted: 3rd, December 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink