Anorak News | Taking The Biscuit

Taking The Biscuit

by | 6th, December 2005

‘IF the crime won’t come to the police, the police will go to the crime.

It was PC Plum’s turn to get the Wagon Wheels

Never let it be said that our brave boys and girls in blue aren’t ready at a moment’s notice to speed to the scene of an incident.

There they go now, spotted by the Mirror on their way to ground zero. Motoring along in a police station.

Sgt Ted Bloodworth, of Bedfordshire Police, is in no little hurry as he makes his way along the A1 in Cambridgeshire. According to the speed camera, he’s travelling in excess of the 40mph speed limit, which puts him foul of the law.

And puts his mobile police station – a van with a seating area and coffee-making facilities – surely in the record books as the fastest cop shop in the land, if not the world.

And while Bloodworth explains himself (“I was making a dash for emergency ginger snaps, m’lud”), the Mail spots some more of our finest making their way this way and that.

This lot are taking no chances. Enfield borough police might well have invested in 12 bikes to help its Community Support Officers patrol parks and the grass verges alongside the road, but they’ve no safety kits.

With no cycling helmets, the cops aren’t allowed to go out on patrol. They must have the relevant equipment, lest they have an accident.

Only last year, as the paper says, Detective Constable James Mann, claimed £100,000 damages when he fell of his chair at work. And PC Lesley O’Shea sued the Met for £200,000 for injuries sustained by his slipping on a banana skin.

But now at least if one copper does trip over his feet, chaff his skin on his regulation woolly jumper or be laid low by a nasty paper cut, Sgt Bloodworth will be there in an instant, with a cup of tea, a jammy dodger and all sirens blaring…’

Posted: 6th, December 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink