Anorak News | Fire Starter

Fire Starter

by | 14th, December 2005

‘WHO is Mr Raging Inferno? The papers created a Mr Bird Flu when a dead parrot was spotted in Essex, so why not give us a human face of the fire at the Buncefield oil depot?

Have you seen this man?

We have a prime suspect. “I STARTED FIRE,” says the Sun’s front page. The paper tells readers how a tanker driver thinks he triggered the massive blaze. “I turned the switch, started running and ‘boom’!.”

He escaped with a few bruises. And he’s strong enough to tell a fellow driver: “Everything went orange. It was like an action movie in slow motion.”

But who is this human catalyst? Usually in times of disaster the Sun produces a shot of mad mullah Omar Bakri. We’d expect to hear the bearded cleric say how the flames were sent by a righteous God to remind the infidel what awaits them in Hell.

We would also expect Page 3’s Zoe to use her space wisely and tell the world through pouting lips that she’s appalled and sickened by such destruction.

But nothing. There’s no sign of the man who thinks he may have caused so much destruction.

Perhaps, like the people living near the site, this unnamed man has been ordered to remain in doors. As the Mail says, the fire is out but the fear is that the black cloud of soot may soon tumble from the skies. Stay inside. Lock your doors. Climb into some Tupperwear and close the lid.

Yesterday the Mail told us that one of the depot’s oil tanks could contain a concoction of lethal chemicals. That wasn’t the case. But having gained our attention the paper now says the smoke “could” fall to the ground, coating buildings, cars, streets, asylum seekers, birds riddled with avian flu and small white dogs called Chipper with a “filthy black layer”.

The advice is not to venture out. And if you see any truckers behaving suspiciously, call the authorities…’

Posted: 14th, December 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink