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Breasts Of British

by | 16th, January 2006

‘BEING a Page 3 stunna is about so much more than possessing a fine brain, political acumen and the ability to summarise the day’s key news story in a single speech bubble.

(Today, Zoe, 24, from London, says in the Sun that Sven Goran Eriksson has been “stupid getting involved in another scandal”.)

It’s often – get this – about posing topless in your knickers. Zoe manages to pull this off with rare aplomb. But even she knows that a stunna’s time at the top is short. Zoe’s rise to fame will, in all likelihood, begin to dip with her assets. Indeed, unless Zoe can marry a footballer, releases a pop single or defy gravity, we fear she will soon be replaced by a younger, perkier mo-del.

But there is an alternative solution – Zoe could have plastic surgery to enhance her ambitions. It worked for Katie Price, whose gargantuan Jordans have propelled her to fame and fortune – today, in extracts from her autobiography, she’s telling Sun readers about her addiction to outdoor sex with husband Peter Andre.

And these days going under the knife is no big deal. The Mirror says that last year 5,646 women “copied model Jordan” and had their breasts enlarged, up from 3,731 in 2004. Breast augmentation is the most popular form of cosmetic surgery in the UK.

But be warned. Being Jordan is not for everyone. And for every apparent tale of success there is a horror story the Mail cannot wait to relay to its readers.

So here’s Sally James in the Mail to tell the world about how the results of her cosmetic surgery were “devastating”.

James appeared on the reality TV show Cosmetic Surgery Live, the programme that allowed viewers to watch surgical procedures on the magic box.

James opted for a face and eyelift, hoping that they would help relaunch her into telly stardom. But the surgery left her with dropping lower eyelids and a constantly watering left eye.

While such a look would make her a shoo-in for a presenting job on Animal Hospital, James was less than impressed with her new look.

Now firm for face, James says she would never have cosmetic surgery again. She warns that many people are “wooed by the fact that cosmetic surgery seems to be commonplace these days”.

Indeed. Look, there it is in the Sun, the Star, the Mirror, the Mail, the Express…’



Posted: 16th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink