Anorak News | Off The Hooker

Off The Hooker

by | 8th, February 2006

‘SO long as all Muslim extremists dress up as suicide bombers with hooks for hands and one wall-eye, the police should have little trouble spotting them.

Hamza making an exhibit of himself

And for those boys in blue who lack the imagination to conjure up such scary images, the Express publishes pictures of both Extremist Type A and Extremist Type B to aid identification.

First up is Omar Khayam. He’s the 22-year-old bespectacled Bedford local, a convicted drugs dealer who modelled his suicide bomber chic outside the Danish embassy in London.

If the paper’s two-dimensional image of Khayam is not enough, police can see Extremist Type A in the flesh because he’s just been arrested for breeching the terms of his parole.

The Express say that Khayam will return to jail, and serve up to three-quarters of a six-year sentence for drug offences.

And so we move along the line to Extremist Type B. The Express calls this one Abu Hamza, and leads with the news that, like Khayam, he too has been jailed.

The Express was in the Old Bailey to see Hamza sent down for seven years, having been found guilty of six counts of soliciting murder.

And that’s not all Hamza’s been soliciting. Alongside a wonderfully evocative picture of Hamza’s looming and shadowy face – the eye seems to follow you round the room – the Sun’s front page announces: “HOOK AND A HOOKER.”

The Sun reveals that Hamza cheated on his first wife, the fragrant Valerie, with a prostitute. And, apparently, it was the result of that fling that transformed Hamza from a lovable nightclub bouncer into a “recruiting sergeant” for terror.

“HE HAD AN EYE FOR THE LADIES,” says the Sun, which hears from poor Valerie. “I can confirm that one of the reasons our marriage broke up was my husband’s infidelity with a prostitute,” says she.

What other reasons there could have been for leaving the man who, as the Mirror says, is suspected by the US of funding al-Qaeda training camps in Afghanistan are not revealed.

Nor, indeed, do we learn what this unidentified hooker did to Hamza that resulted in his radical change. What happened to make him utter such vitriol as: “Every brothel is a target, everybody who endorses them is a target”?

Perhaps the woman who went with Hamza can come forward to tell us what passed between them. That way we can ensure that no-one can ever repeats the same mistake…’

Posted: 8th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink