No Man Is A City

‘THESE are heady times for Preston. The Lancashire spot was once best known for its tired football team, still more tired snooker tournaments, for being the kind of place that boasts about being “England’s newest city!”. Now it’s rarely out of the papers.

If it’s not England cricket hero Andy Flintoff becoming a freeman of the city (England’s newest!), it’s Britney Spears naming her firstborn after the place.

Little wonder then that Preston, the Big Brother contestant, is being billed as “BIG BROTHER’S PRESTON” on the cover of Hello!”. In lesser times his name would have needed no qualifier. But, as we say, these are great days for Preston.

Pictured on the magazine’s cover dressed in an edgy blue V-neck sweater and identity bracelet bearing the legend “HOOLIGAN”, this promises to be “HIS TRUE STORY”.

Before we begin, Hello! would like to state for the record that Preston is “kind-hearted, intelligent and polite – although shorter and slimmer than expected”.

But what Hello! really wants to know is if this nice young boy is going out with Chantelle, a non-location name that needs no explanation.

“Towards the end [of the show] I thought, ‘Oh no. They’re going to make us out to be a couple.’” So are you? “I love Chantelle.” Oh? “I do miss Chantelle. I keep seeing her in the papers and stuff.”

Does he fancy her? “Of course I fancied her, I’m not an idiot.” Indeed not – you are “kind-hearted, intelligent and polite – although shorter and slimmer than expected.”

So..? “But it doesn’t really matter what I think because I’m already taken.”

Oh, yes. Taken by Camille, the French girl Preston says he has talked about marrying. She’s got a Masters degree in social policy.

But is that enough? We’re not sure. Preston doesn’t seem sure.

But the good news is that if he and Camille do split up, she won’t be wanting for love. Says Preston: “Everyone she meets just falls in love with her instantly.”

Which could be dangerous – imagine if Camille met Chantelle. Poor Preston could be the odd man out…’

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink