The Fast & The Furious

‘THERE’S fast. There’s Ben Johnson. And there’s Hollywood.

Not too far back, the Enquirer brought us news of “JEN’S REVENGE PREGNANCY PLAN”. Apparently, Jennifer Aniston was going to get pregnant and thereby steal the thunder from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Now, barely a fortnight on, the front page screams: “Jen’s tragic MISCARRIAGE.”

We have always suspected that Jen is not like other women. There’s the hair, for one thing. There’s the way she says “OHMYGOD”. And…did we mention the hair?

But we never believed she was capable of getting pregnant and falling victim to a miscarriage in the time it takes the yellow ink to dry on two issues of the Enquirer.

Understandably, we race to the inside scoop. And learn that this “devastating” miscarriage occurred not in the past two weeks but before Jen and Brad went their separate ways.

“It was the biggest test of their love up to that point,” says a source, “and Brad came through with flying colours.”

But now, apparently, the tales of Brad’s impending fatherhood have reopened old wounds in Jen’s heart.

As a source tells the Enquirer: “She can’t help but look at Brad’s growing family and wonder what might have been if they’d been successful in having a baby. Those tear-filled fantasies haunt her.”

It really is too tragic.

But life races on at no little pace in Hollywood. Just as Brad has moved on to Angelina, Jen is now spending time with Vince Vaughn – getting him to up to speed with her feelings…’

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink