Anorak News | Buzz Off

Buzz Off

by | 16th, February 2006

‘‘DER-DER der-der, der-der, der-der… What’s that droning sound? Oasis on tour? Madonna moaning after her hernia operation (the Mail says the singer had an op after performing at the recent Grammy awards)?

No. And no. As the Mail says, the noise you can hear is the sound produced by the Mosquito.

That’s the name of a new machine designed to sound like a buzzing insect. Impressive? Very much so. But that’s not all it does. The paper says that the black box emits a piercing, pulsing sound only audible, in 90 per cent of cases, to people aged 12 to 20.

(A scientist explains that it’s something to with the auditory canals of children being shaped differently to those in adults.)

And what it means is that the Mosquito is just perfect for dispersing gangs of yoofs from shopping centres. They can’t stand it.

Turn on the box and sit back as Armani pulls her hoodie tight over her bleeding ears and runs from the precinct like a priapic shoplifter making off with a stolen copy of Razzle.’

Posted: 16th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink