Anorak News | Unplugged


by | 21st, February 2006

‘THE popularity of cosmetic surgery in Hollywood is such that when we read the headline “BRIT FALLS APART”, we blanch.

That vest in colour

Brit is, of course, Britney Spears, and the Enquirer tells us that she is, well, coming apart at the seams.

But before Britney’s various arms, legs and breasts are auctioned off on the Internet, or encased behind glass and displayed in her hometown museum, we need to read on.

We learn that the pop singer is, apparently, losing her hair. And she is “freaking out”. Says a so-called “friend”: “Britney’s hair is literally falling out and she is scared to death that she is going bald.”

Hairdressers who have worked on the Spears’ tresses say that her hair is fine. The only problem is that she’s not taking care of it.

Whatever the truth, she should not worry – if she’s losing her hair, worry will only make things worse. And, in any case, in Hollywood a stitch in time saves nine, or perhaps even ten or more of her golden threads.

Perhaps husband Kevin can walk behind her and pick them up and save them under his ubiquitous hat. That would at least make him useful.

And finding a use for Kevin is not all that easy. Is he a rapper? Is he a dancer? Kevin is the ferret looking for a wheel, metaphorically speaking, of course. And without a purpose, Kevin runs the risk of annoying Britney.

As the Enquirer reports, while out at an LA eatery, Britney took exception to her husband flirting with a waitress.

As a source says: “Britney had finally had enough of it and embarrassed Kevin by asking the waitress if she’s met her husband and introducing him as Wilbur – Wilbur the pig!”

Oh, Wilbur the pig from Charlotte’s Web, the pig that’s saved from the fate of all porcine runts by his spidery pal spinning a web.

Which is nice. And if Britney wants to save her pet pig from the chop, she can always spin her own web – with her hair…’

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink