Anorak News | Wham Rap

Wham Rap

by | 27th, February 2006

‘THE good news for George Michael is that a drugs scandal can give the old career an invigorating shot in the arm. And after a period of quiet – what the Mail terms his “reclusive lifestyle” – the singer is all over the papers.

You gotta have faith

“DOPE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO,” says the Star’s front page. “CARELESS SPLIFFER,” announce the Mirror and Sun in perfect harmony on their respective cover pages. “George Michael drug arrest,” says the Mail on its front, the paper correctly realising that when it comes to the lexicon of drugs its readers’ knowledge begins and ends with HRT.

The less good news for George is that he is no Kate Moss and is therefore unlikely to be on the verge of earning £10millon for modelling this and that barely six months after outraging the world. (The Stars says Moss’s career is soaring higher than Pete Doherty in a rocket ship.)

But before the verdict on George’s career can be delivered – and you the jury please note that the singer has form in the shape of a Los Angeles cop and an X-rated handshake – we should consider the evidence.

The Mail says that George’s trouble began when a passerby spotted the star slumped at the wheel of his car.

Worried that the driver was ill, this concerned citizen dialled 999. The Mirror says paramedics arrived. They looked at George. And they called the police.

Police came. And George was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive. As a cop tells the Mail: “He was taken to a police station and was searched. He was found to be in possession of a controlled substance, a Class C substance.”

This substance has been sent away for testing. And George has been bailed to return in March, when he may face a charge of possessing what is thought to be cannabis.

And there’s more. The Sun says police allegedly found not only cannabis on George, but also GBH, a drug the Sun knowingly refers to as “Liquid Ecstasy”. And then there are the masks and sex toys apparently found by police in the boot of George’s motor.

Things are looking a little grim for the singer. Although, to finish on a positive note, he may be too goofed to notice, let alone care…’

Posted: 27th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink