Anorak News | Jagging It Up

Jagging It Up

by | 1st, March 2006

‘HE might have the record sales, the gold discs and the stubble, but when it comes to drugs, George Michael is a mere Class C celebrity. If you want to check out a Class A act you must seek out Pete Doherty.

‘What’s the top speed?

And, as it so happens, on the day the Mirror watches Michael emerge from his North London home and climb into the back seat of his chauffeur-driven car to make the short journey to the recording studio, Doherty is spotted out for a drive in Birmingham.

And he’s part of a convoy. The Mirror says that trailing the singer along the road last night were a motorway patrol car, two police motorcyclists and an unmarked vehicle.

Eyewitness Mike Kelly explains what he observed: “I saw a large blue three-litre Jaguar with personalised plates being chased at speed the wrong way up a one-way street.”

Kelly makes for a good witness, the kind of person Michael could use on his staff should cannabis affect his short-term memory and he experience more trouble identifying his car (see Anorak: I Knew You Were Waiting).

And this Kelly is thorough. He goes on to say how the car stopped and the two police motorbikes stopped either side. “Doherty got out without a struggle… He looked completely out of it, staring into space… He didn’t seem too steady on his feet and had to be guided to the back of the police Volvo.”

Doubtless Mr Kelly could provide us with details of the Volvo’s engine capacity and colour, but for now let’s busy ourselves dissecting the facts such as they are.

And in doing so we quickly realise that Doherty has learnt nothing from Michael’s recent experience. If you are stoned – Michael admits to being in possession of a Class C drug at the time of his arrest last Sunday; Doherty has now been arrested on suspicion of possessing Class A drugs – then sleep in the car.

And make sure it’s your own car, or you have permission from the owner. The Sun says that the Jaguar so expertly described by the aforesaid Kelly was stolen.

The paper says that police were already following Doherty when a camera took a picture of the Jaguar and it flashed up as stolen on the force’s database.

For his part, Doherty says he bought the care legitimately but the vendor is a man who “gets confused and forgets where he puts things”.

Which makes us wonder. Has George Michael ever owned a blue three-litre Jaguar? And we urge him to think very hard before answering…’

Posted: 1st, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink