Chip & Veil

‘JORDAN and Pete Andre are back doing what they do best. That’s right, they are in the papers telling everyone and anyone how very much in love they are. Their love is real. Their love is lasting. Their love is so real and so lasting they plan to renew their wedding vows.

We mean to cast no shadows on Jordan and Peter’s mental capacity, but they only tied the knot in September last year, and while their lives are whirlwinds of real and lasting love, can they already have forgotten what they said to each other on that wonderful day?

It would seem so, as the Star says that Jordan and her pint-sized husband intend to do it all over again in…Disney World, home of Mickey Mouse and super-sized American children in massive shorts and fake ears.

Jordan explains. “Because of the hectic run-up to our wedding, with the planning and my post-natal depression and everything I was really stressed.”

Go on… “But I’m in such a good place now I would really like to go the [Disney World] and have a blessing or something – we’re talking about it now.”

Given our extensive knowledge of the theme park, Jordan and Pete’s “something” might take the form of a huge stick of candyfloss, a ride on Space Mountain or a moonlit walk on Tom Sawyer Island.

While Jordan considers the many wonderful and family-themed options available at Disney, and Donald Duck gets ready to read the wedding banns, Jordan thinks about her dress.

Problem is, she’s can’t find anything to fit Chip and Dale into. As the Sun reports, Jordan says “gravity has taken its toll” and her breasts are not as pert as Messers Nip ‘n’ Tuck intended.

So she is thinking of surgery to replace them. Which could see the end of Jordan as we know her, and the introduction of a popular new bouncy ride at Disney World…’

Posted: 22nd, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink