A Better You

‘EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.

Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…

MONDAY

“DENTISTS TO DITCH MILLIONS OF NHS PATIENTS” – “Millions will be left without a Health Service dentist in less than two weeks’ time”

“The ‘unknown’ risks of prostate cancer” – Survey by Prostate Cancer Charity says 55 per cent of us don’t think getting older is a “major risk factor” in getting the disease

“Women with different sized breast ‘may have greater risk of cancer’” – So suggests research at Liverpool University

“Sex and gambling link to Parkinson’s drug” – Shortage of dopamine – a chemical associated with “addictive behaviours such as drug use and pleasurable experiences such as sex and food” – causes Parkinson’s

“GREAT-GRAN WAITS 90 MINUTES IN THE RAIN FOR AN AMBULANCE” – Poor old Marianne Fitch trips over and waits on the ground for help to slowly arrive

TUESDAY

“Pesticides in food ‘increase risk of cancer for babies’” – That’s what those cheery scientists at the University of Liverpool think

“As the surgeon began to operate, I woke up – again!” – Meryl Davies relives the horror of waking up during two operations

WEDNESDAY

“U-TURN ON SALT COULD KILL UP TO 14,000” – Government changes promise to cut salt in food, which could lead to lots more death

“Boozy UK just like gin lane, says liver expert” – Professor Ian Gilmore, a leading liver specialist, says selling alcohol “next to bread and milk” in shops is recreating Briton in the image of Hogarth’s London

“Back treatments ‘that cause more harm than good’” – Professor Edzard Ernst says spinal manipulation used by osteopaths and chiropractors does not work for any medical problem

“Middle-aged women ‘facing same angina threat as men’” – So say researchers at University College London

THURSDAY

“Hepatitis C may have infected a million” – Estimates Professor of Hepatology at Southampton University

FRIDAY

“A BIRTH CONTROL NURSE FOR ALL SCHOOLS” – So much for ‘Nitty Nora’. Schools in England will have a nurse who can arrange “secret abortions”

“25,000 staff ‘facing the sack’ in NHS cash crisis” – That’s the guesstimate from Tory health spokesman Andrew Lansley

“‘Chaos’ over plans to protect public from psychopaths” – draft Mental Health Bill reworked

“100,000 ‘sedated needlessly’ in care homes” – Suggests Alzheimer’s society-funded research

“Once you needed a GP – and a very good reason – to get the morning after pill. Now, as this investigation reveals, school nurses and chemists are handing them out like Smarties” – Smarties have the answer’

Posted: 27th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink