Anorak News | Water Fools

Water Fools

by | 6th, April 2006

‘GRASS a benefits cheat. Grass a non income-tax payer. And now you are being urged to grass up people who flout the hosepipe ban and water their, er, grass.

Save water – share your ornamental pond with a friend

At the time of writing, 13 million people are banned from using hosepipes on their gardens, cars and colons. And the rules must not be flouted.

But the water companies cannot work alone. They need your help. As the Times reports, people are being encouraged to squeal on “water hogs”.

If you see a neighbour sprinkling a herbaceous border with a hose, call the authorities. Your call is treated in the strictest confidence. And, in an effort to keep pace with the modern world, you can grass a hosepipe user by email.

The Environment Agency has forecast that we could be set for the worst drought in 100 years. Things are not looking good. So do as Three Valleys Water says and file an anonymous report called “Report A Waterhog!”.

In the section marked “irresponsible water user”, you can grass up the man giving his lawn a drink. Tell a tale on that woman cleaning her motor. Snitch on the neighbour giving their insides a quick run through.

Remember to tell the water company how long they have used the water for, what time of day and how often.

A spokesman for Three Valleys, which, as the paper says, provides water for three million customers around London, says: “We are serious about the need for everyone to conserve water. If we find that some customers blatantly waste water then we will take legal action.”

A spokesman for Thames Water, which serves eight million people in Great London, explains the scheme further. “We’re not actively encouraging people to snoop on their neighbours but if somebody wants to do that then we’ve made that option available to them.” He adds that “this is serious”.

Indeed it is. If proven to have ignored the ban, the water hog is in line for a £1,000 fine.

So, in the spirit of saving the planet – and not out of revenge or spite in any way at all – we have done as 11 people have already done and filled in the form.

Irresponsible water user: water companies. How often do they waste water: 24-hours a day. How long do they waste water for: 24-hours a day. Time of waste: 24-hours a day. Well, 915 million litres of water a day leaks from the system…’

Posted: 6th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink