Anorak News | Talking Crap

Talking Crap

by | 25th, April 2006

‘MAKING the huge leap from the career of Kevin Federline to the contents of a nappy, we read that Tom Cruise loves changing his newborn daughter.

Tom has a Michael Jackson moment

“I changed her first,” says Tom in the Star. “I change diapers all the time. I have to tell you, I love it.”

This is all very new man. But where does Katie Holmes fit into the picture?

Over the past months, we have heard Tom dictate where his lover should have the baby, that she should remain silent and take no painkillers during labour and how he was going to eat the placenta.

The story that he is now changing nappies might not be as lovely as it first seems. Does Katie get a look in? Is Tom breastfeeding?

It would seem our concerns are unfounded. “We have a whole system worked out,” says Tom, who is just the kind of person to have a system. “It’s the ‘B and B’ – she does the breast feeding and I do the burping and changing the diapers. It’s teamwork. It’s fun.”

This is great news. But what happens when Tom is away? Right now Tom is in Europe promoting his new movie, Mission Impossible III. With Tom out of the picture how does the system work? Who changes the nappy?

We fear that Tom has not thought this one out and could be in for a stinking shock when he returns home, unless he has dressed her in an oversized adult nappy. No, not Katie, you dummy – his daughter…’

Posted: 25th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink