Anorak News | Two Shags

Two Shags

by | 27th, April 2006

‘TWO shags is everywhere and nowhere.

Et two, John?

John Prescott might be at one of his many homes with his wife, the wronged Patricia. But we cannot be sure. Like his integrated transport policy, Prescott moves in unpredictable ways.

Perhaps we should ask Tracey Temple where her boss is. As the Times says (“Flirting with disaster”), the Deputy Prime Minister’s assistant diary secretary, and former mistress, may know.

But how can we ask her? The Telegraph says that Ms Temple is in hiding abroad. She’s with her live-in lover Barrie Williams. And they may be away for some time because Barrie has, reportedly, trousered £100,000 for selling the story of Tracey and John to the papers.

But where is Prezza? He wasn’t at Prime Minister’s Question Time yesterday. He fulfilled no public engagements. But he must be somewhere. If anyone knows where Prezza is, please tell us.

While we look for the real thing, we make do with the Times’ photographic montage of the Prescott career to date. There’s Prezza in his secondary modern school uniform.

There he is fighting with a farmhand in Rhyl 2001. And here’s one taken from the cover of yesterday’s Mirror in which Prezza is seen giving Tracey a big randy bear hug.

And then there is news of Prescott’s early life. The Times tells us that when aged 13, honest John reported his father to the police. “My dad’s a magistrate,” said John. “I’ve seen him kissing another woman.” Young Prescott was shocked at such impropriety.

And there are other quotes, these taken from Prescott’s professional life. “I’m told Tories think ethics is a county in Middlesex.” Well, it’s not in Prescott’s native Hull, so Middlesex seems as good a guess as any.

“For many Tories, morality is not getting caught,” said Prescott. “We’ve had enough lies”. And: “Maybe people are loyal to me because I’m loyal to them.”

Which is, like so much of what Prescott says, utter nonsense…’

Posted: 27th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink