Anorak News | After The Flood

After The Flood

by | 29th, April 2006

‘EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.

Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…


“POLICEMEN BEHAVING BADLY – This former detective spent seven months investigating her own colleagues. Now she has exposed a world of rampant sexism, endemic skiving and a shocking nonchalance towards serious crime” – Nina Hobson uncovers the amazing truth that the police are not that fantastic. Wow!



“Immigrants ‘are costing taxpayer £200m a year” – So suggests a reports by Migrationwatch think-tank

“Sorry, Ms Hewitt, the NHS can’t go on like this – In a devastating critique, one of this country’s most respected doctors calls for a radical rethink of Britain’s health service” – Professor Karol Sikora talks of “crisis”, job cuts” and “budget deficits”

“Avoiding milk in pregnancy could lead to a smaller baby” – So says a report in the Canadian Medical Association Journal

“Wide awake with the top of my skull sawn off, I watched as the surgeon cut a deadly tumour from my brain…” – Simon Hicks talks us through his ordeal

“THE FAKE MEDICINE SCANDAL – We all trust the drugs we get on prescription. But as this chilling report reveals, ruthless counterfeiters are flooding the system with pills that are useless or downright dangerous”



“WHAT CRIMINAL INCOMPETENCE – “killers, rapists, paedophiles…1,000 convicted foreign criminals who should have been deported are at large – and the Home Office hasn’t a clue where they are.” (Have they looked under your bed?)

“It’s not only the foreign criminals who’ve vanished, but also any pretence that Britain controls its borders or, indeed, its very destiny” – So says Melanie Phillips

“Foreigners flooding our jails” – 10,000 foreigners languish in British jails; before being released into the community, no doubt

“Passports Are Us – underworld trade in fake documents is so lucrative the villains offer franchises”

“THE MOTHER WHO GAVE BIRTH AT 62 – She’s blind, a grandmother of 20 and now, thanks to IVF, one of the oldest women ever to give birth. But is her story inspirational – or a terrible corruption of nature?” – The story of American Janise Wulf

“Coffee is in the clear over links to heart disease” Phew! But does it give you cancer?

“10,000 new nurses ‘can’t find a job’ in cash-strapped NHS” – Nurses warn that they are leaving college unable to find a job in the Health Service; “some are so desperate they are applying to work at Tesco and McDonald’s”



“British bluebell ‘will be wiped out in ten years’” – John Everitt, of the Wildlife Trust’s conservation charity, warns against the “Spanish invader”; the “scentless” Spanish bluebell is “creeping” out of the flowerbeds and into woodlands

“Vodka lolly ‘peril to children’” – Lemon-flavoured Chiller lolly aimed at young adults (4.8 per cent alcohol) could be licked by children



“£360,000 bill for the healthy women in hospital since 2004” – Two elderly women have been in hospital since April 2004 despite having nothing wrong with them – a miracle given the apparent prevalence of MRSA

“The Disneyphone – Health fears over mobile that will appeal to the youngest children” – Disney introduces family mobile phone package that gives handsets to children

“Will cull be too late to halt bird flu epidemic” – Outbreak of bird flu in Norfolk “could” have spread throughout the country’

Posted: 29th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink