Anorak News | A Proper Charlie

A Proper Charlie

by | 20th, June 2006

DRUGS can really change you.

Looking at the picture, we note that her hair is no longer blonde and shiny. Her skin is darker and hairy. Gone is the elfin frame, replaced by a studier torso and chunky arms.

Dutifully, the Mirror tells us that this drug taker is dressed in a white shirt and dark jacket.

But the Mirror’s cover shot of a celebrity taking what looks like drugs does not feature Kate Moss, and we are relieved.

This front-page picture, taken on a car journey from London to Manchester, stars Coronation Street actor and BBC radio DJ Craig Charles.

“CORRIE STAR ON CRACK,” screams the front-page headline. “Charles smokes himself into a stupor.” And over five pages, readers see the actor doing just as promised.

The action begins at 00:49, and Charles, seated in the back of a car, has collected his drugs and is making holes in a can as he prepares for a “binge”. He is being filmed by a kind of onboard video camera.

One minute on, and he tips the crack into an “indent” on the empty container. At 00:51, he uses a “lighter” to ignite the concoction. We learn that he has made a “makeshift pipe”. And at 1:01, he takes the first of the 60 “hits” he will inhale in the next four hours.

And there we must end things. This is fast turning into a crack tacking masterclass. The information is in depth and detailed. We even learn that having taken the drug, Charles sits “vacantly staring into space”. He is “sweating”. His “eyes dart from side to side”. His eyes then “bulge”.

In his defence, we do hear that before taking drugs, Charles asked the driver “Do you mind?” In the course of the trip, Charles politely asks: “You couldn’t stop off at this garage, get some English ones?”

The driver pulls over, dashes over to the shop and returns with two pornographic magazines, both written in English.

And so it goes. But it will not go on for very much longer, not with the Mirror on the case.

Having exposed Kate Moss as a woman who might or might not have taken drugs, the Mirror says it is out to get Charles. It is “making its dossier of evidence available to the police”.

And the police will surely look at it with a keen eye. And then decide that Charles might have taken drugs and he might not have.

Leaving the Mail to run a story about how much the fruitless investigation cost, and Charles free to model mobile phones…

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink