Call Me Wasted

CRAIG Charles should know that when it comes to celebrity drugs takers he is on the C-list.

For a look at how a professional gets off his face, how a (Class) A-lister goes about marrying drugs with celebrity, he should study the Peter Doherty master class.

The Sun looks on as Doherty’s Jaguar is towed away from outside his London home. It seems he owes almost £3,000 in parking fines and refuses to contest them in court or pay.

Doubtless this episode will form a vital and illuminating part of Pete’s life story. And, wouldn’t you know it, but Pete has just landed a £150,000 deal to write about his life so far.

It promises to be a cracking read. And all the more so if Pete can leave out the bits about his life before Kate Moss and those parts that do not directly involve the model. The bits about his cars he can leave in.

Problem is that Kate is reported to be “petrified” about what Pete will reveal.

Of course Pete will have to remember what he and Kate got up to – no small challenge for a man so often under the influence of memory erasing substances.

But if Pete gets stuck, unsure of what occurred on a given day, he can always get hold of some old copies of the Mirror, and therein learn what he got up to.

Indeed, readers may like to save themselves the expense of buying Pete’s tome and just stick a few old copies of the Mirror together. And if they can squirt some blood all over the pages, so much the more authentic it will be…

Posted: 22nd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink