Anorak News | Metal Nikki

Metal Nikki

by | 27th, June 2006

What’s that under Nikki’s bed?

No, not the mass of hair and knickers, that other thing. No, not the bottle of beer she snaffled from Glyn, something else.

Yes, that round thing. What is it? A dropping of some sort? No. It’s a fig? And not just one fig but a whole stash of the seedy fruits.

“I’m very concerned,” says Nikkkki’s mum. “Nutritionist and GP Dr Rosemary Leonard says Nikkkkkkkki needs to come out of that house “right now”.

It seems that figs are nature’s laxatives. And Nikki has had issues with her weight. Might it be that these fruits are helping Nikkkki to stay slim, not allowing any foodstuffs to remain in her body long enough to cause her to gain weight?

The fear is just that.

But we who have watched Nikki over the past month and more have another comment to make on her eating habits. Why is it when Nikki eats, she tries to take in not just the food but the cutlery on which it is served?

When Nikki eats with a fork, you can hear her teeth jar on the metal. This is either a woman not well practised in the ways of eating, or one who likes the taste of metal.

And so too last night. We gasped as Nikki ate a huge tub of yoghurt – while standing up and talking – and appeared to savour the spoon every bit as much as she did the cheesy goo.

Is Nikkki a metallophile? And if she is, does it explain why she loves the camera so much – it being made of metal and all. And, if so, will she try and eat it?

Posted: 27th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink