Five Star

Let’s go through the keyhole and take a look at the new housemates.

Jonathan is a bisexual bouncer from Keswick, Cumbria. He says he is “too sexual at times”. He is “energetic, horny and comical”. Claim to fame: “I danced with Five Star at Butlins in Skegness three years ago. I was better.” (Not danced TO Five Star.) Fame is his for the taking.

Jayne is from Slough. She’s a fan of Big Brother. “Live it, breathe it, sleep it, eat it, want it for breakfast.” As we say, Jayne is from Slough. Escapism is her thing.

Michael is a gay former pole dancer. He’s from Oldham. He may just be the only gay former pole dancer to have lived in the Lancashire town.

Jennie is 18. She looks much older. She’s a Scouser. She is fluent in Turkish and French. She could translate what Mikey is saying.

And there’s Spiral. He’s a rapper from Dublin. Really. We do not make this up. He says you don’t need to drink to have a good time”. No, but in Big Brother it helps.

Meanwhile back in the original house (remember it?) things were much as ever they were: dull.

Maybe we could just leave them there and start again? Would anyone notice if we never saw any of that bunch again? You know, Pete and, er, umm…

Posted: 2nd, July 2006 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink